i am an adult now on my 33
and still


i dont know if

i have reached to be able to say

If i am more of my mother or of my dad

if i am more of a father or of a mother

if i am more the male or the female in me

and therefore the only way to be straight

is to be able to say

I can be a good friend of whoever exists there in myself

and also the best friend

of my child

of my xwife

of my new boyfriend

while still living my cruel childhood loneliness

i can say to all of you

in my dreams there is always a good friend next to me

standing by myside looking me into my eyes

the moments i cannot bear it any more and i start to wonder

those momments that i need to turn my head and look somewhere else

out of this existence my childhood has dressed me with

my special friend helps me so much to feel myself a very good friend